musings

for some reason, the other day, i realized i had left a very favorite book off my list.  ok, it was my favorite more than a half century ago (OMG, am i really that old?!)  however, the memory of how much i had loved the book "The Little Engine That Could" got me to wondering just what the hell happened.  i mean, given how much i loved and read that book, (or had it read to me???), how in the world did i ever decide to have a loud voice in my head screaming   "i can't" .  i still don't know the answer. hmmm, did it ever really stop me, i mean, if it was important??  guess i'd have to think about it a lot more.  it was a voice i became aware of at 'the 6-day' - on the ropes course.  at the end of the one where you pulled yourself across a canyon while hanging face up/horizontal to the rope - at the end it was an uphill pull - and tough.  i just kept yelling "i can't" (that inner voice on loud speaker, so to speak).  yet, all the while, i was actually 'doing it' and did, obviously ^_^ get to the other side.
 however, as i was writing this, i also realized that one sure way to get me to do something is to tell me i can't.  does that make any sense?
well, i think i do know where the second one came from - and it's kind of related to my declaration one day (when my mother was doing her normal controlling,harsh, restricting "discipline" routine )that - "when i grow up no one will EVER tell me what to do again".  it is amazing what THAT declaration produced in my life!!  some good, some, not so much!

do i have a picture to include today - for the sake of beauty, perhaps?  let me go look. ^_^
how's that?!  sunset on the oregon coast - i think this was my first real vacating in the rv.  i had gone up 'on business' and just decided to hang out a couple of extra days.  parked right there, just 'steps' from the beach!

love and beauty